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Distractions and a-holes

Works in Progress

"There is neither a proportional relationship, nor an inverse one, between a writer’s estimation of a work in progress and its actual quality. The feeling that the work is magnificent, and the feeling that it is abominable, are both mosquitoes to be repelled, ignored, or killed, but not indulged."

-- ANNIE DILLARD



I get antsy now and then -- dissatisfied with things like my carpet and my wardrobe and my face and so on. My house is dark -- depressingly dark, and it doesn't help that we have shit stacked everywhere sucking up whatever sunlight does penetrate the gloom. It's one of the many things that gnaws at me when I'm sitting in my little chair at my little desk not typing or doing anything remotely close to writing. I just know if there was more light in here and everything was clean I would have no shortage of brilliant stories to tell, and I would never stop working for the rest of my life, and I'd buy a house on every continent on every planet in the solar system, because I asked Jerod to fix the light and he did -- in my dreams he did.

It's not so simple in real life even though it should be because my husband's an engineer and a carpenter -- oh well, what husband on earth does anything his wife asks him to do? I'm just happy he's on the couch sleeping and not in my face complaining about something or other I didn't do quite to his liking.

It's finally sunny outside and I took a long walk hoping it would get me in a proper mindset to get some work done -- mission not accomplished. I suppose we all have people in our lives who make us so incredibly mad that no matter what we do to douse the flames the fire just roars bigger and louder and out of control, and there's nothing to do but let it burn itself out.

That's where I am today -- mid burn -- I wanted to kick the living crap out of a rock or a tree or a fence on my useless excursion, but there were always people around, and I thought they might feel alarmed if I just started bashing stuff to pieces. So I walked and walked and walked and listened to my iPod, and I discovered that music you listened to in high school when you felt depressed and wanted to cry -- it's a girl thing I think -- is still depressing and makes you remember things you don't want to when you're trying to pick yourself up.

* Note to self -- playlist titled Suicide is not uplifting.

Keep Away from People Who Belittle Your Ambitions

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."

-- MARK TWAIN

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