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Technology is the Devil

Computers suck -- they really do. They suck enormous rhinoceros balls, and I hate them.

There's one thing worse than having nothing to write about. It's Having something absolutely brilliant -- so fabulous that you're pissing in your pants all day you're so excited -- and you get home, and you can't write, because your computer chooses that one day in a million to flip you the bird and take a smelly dump all over your hopes and dreams.

That's my story tonight.

I ran in the house after work and headed for the bedroom to type up my masterpiece, but my computer was NOT happy to see me.

It wouldn't do anything that I wanted it to do. All of the USB ports were dead. I couldn't transfer my pictures from the camera. And finally after reading I-don't-know-how-many articles about Universal Serial "B"-somethings (USBs) THAT PIECE-OF-CRAP machine wouldn't even start. It gave me some bullshit message "You're computer cannot start ..."

"Thank you! Thank you very much. I didn't know that. How incredibly helpful."

I turned the machine off and on again, and it went into some diagnostic mode, at which point the blinking light on the thing for my mouse indicated my USB ports  were working -- TOO BAD THE COMPUTER WAS STUCK IN PRE-START-UP MODE!

The damned thing was so unruly I'm still awake at 1 a.m. composing this lame-ass excuse on my work computer *** which doesn't have anything I need for the awesome thing I'm writing -- in case anyone was wondering "why didn't she use that computer instead?"


The good news: I got my computer working long enough to get the stuff I needed for the mass rad story I'm writing.

The bad news: It's 1 a.m. and I need to go to bed.


  1. Lions balls are larger than rhinoceros balls. Good thing you didn't write Obama's balls because he doesn't have any

    1. Which male of the species?

  2. Sorry for any part I may have played in the saga!!! After all that, can't it least be a happy story?????


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