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That is inappropriate!

My daughters' favorite word is "inappropriate."

I remember the first time Lily used it -- she was 4.

I'd been yelling at Jerod for letting her watch Adult Swim on Cartoon Network.

The two of them were huddled on the couch watching Family Guy. Meg, the daughter, fell IN LOVE with Brian, the family dog -- he took her to prom; he dumped her; and Meg in retaliation tied him to a chair in a candlelit room and threatened to make him love her.

"IN-A-PPRO-PRI-ATE, dude. So inappropriate."

I changed the channel and went upstairs to change my clothes at which point an argument ensued between Lily and Jerod. Lily was yelling something about rules and "Mommy said," and Jerod was shushing her.

"No DAD," Lily screamed. "Mommy said I'm not allowed to watch Family Guy. It's INAPPROPRIATE."

I'd made my way downstairs by that point and was trying desperately not to laugh at the redness of Lily's face or the veins bulging from her throat and forehead.


It was great when she used it on Jerod, but now that she's turned it on me as well -- it is a bit tiresome.

Lily's very conservative.

Dresses must always be paired with leggings.

Tank tops show off too much skin.

"That's inappropriate for school, Mommy."

The values police

Ashlyn told me the other night while we were watching Tangled (that's our bedtime movie), "Fwin Y-da a good guy, Mama. I yike him."

"Is he handsome?" I asked her.

"Yep," she said smiling.

And Lily chimed in, "Is that necessary? Really? Should you really be discussing boys in bed, Ashlyn?"

"Dat's inappopiate?"

My immediate response was laughter. I cracked up a full five minutes -- howled til my stomach hurt and my eyes watered -- before the questions started buzzing around in my brain. How did my 7-year-old know the difference between G-rated and PG-13-rated pillow talk?

I didn't want to know.

My girls are very good at spotting bad behavior -- when Daddy farts or Mommy uses a bad word; when people are kissing on TV; when Mommy yells at Grandpa over politics ...



  1. I'm sure Lily will be a manners columnist someday and we'll be in awe.


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