Skip to main content

Huh, what?

My husband complains that our children never listen. Sometimes he blames it on me, "You never make them do anything."

I have a different theory.

I believe our darlings are mimicking their daddy's behavior.

Exhibit A: I'm in the bedroom typing.

The door and windows are closed. The television is off. The heat is on. I run to the kitchen for something to drink. The trip takes no more than 30 seconds. And when I return--the the door and windows are open. The television is on. The heat is off. My husband is watching a football game.

"I'm trying to get some writing done," I tell him. "Maybe you could watch the game downstairs."


"I said I'm trying to get some writing done. Could you maybe watch the game downstairs?"

"Huh, what?" He stares at me blankly.

"The football game is distracting me. Could you please watch it downstairs."


I return to my computer screen. What was I writing about? People? Success? Failure? Winter? Cars? Cold? Football? Why is it so cold and...GOD DAMMIT! GOD DAMMIT!

I slam the door and lock it. I close the windows. I switch the heat on. I turn the TV off and rest for a moment on the edge of my bed.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. 

I shake my hands out to restore blood flow to my fingertips. I rise from my bed and stretch on my tiptoes--up, down, up, down. I slowly, cautiously return to my computer screen.

Exhibit B: I hear footsteps on the stairs.

They're approaching the bedroom.

The doorknob rattles.


The doorknob rattles again.

I'm holding my breath, waiting, waiting, waiting...The pokey instrument scrapes loudly in the knobhole, and "CLICK" the door is unlocked. It swings open slowly, and I turn to scowl at my husband.

"What are you doing?" He asks me.


"What's wrong?"

"I'm writing."

"Why's the heat on? Why'd you turn the TV off?"

"It was cold, and the football game was distracting me."

He picks up the remote and turns the TV on.

"We can watch something else," he offers. "What do you want to watch?"

I launch out of my chair and do the only thing I can think of in the moment--I hop up and down like an unruly child.

"What's wrong?"

"I just told you. I'm trying to write, and you keep coming in here and turning the heat off and turning the TV on really loud. Has it ever occurred to you that your children get their listening skills from you?"

Exhibit C: "Do you want to watch Big Bang Theory?"

"Go away."


  1. Maybe you can experiment with collaborative writing??? LOL!!!! Who knows what might result?? You need what they had in GET SMART...namely the "Cone of Silence". Check Craig's List or Amazon for in stock items.

  2. Hey keep posting such good and meaningful articles.


Post a Comment

I showed you mine -- it's your turn now.

Popular posts from this blog

The insecure writer's support group

The ground is important -- for several reasons.

Among them

Gravity makes no sense without it -- there's no mandate that science be logical so long as our scientists are the smartest smartypants on the planet, in which case "because I said so" is an acceptable explanation. The ground is important, because it's something to build on -- a starting point, a foundation.

I respect the ground, because it has on occasion fallen out from under me, and it's rather unsettling to watch your life in free-fall mode -- to see your accomplishments disintegrate in an instant or a decade in some cases. It all depends on how fast you're falling.

Most of us drop in slow motion. We'll catch a ledge or an up draft every once in a while and think "this is it!" But then we go on falling. Or do we? Is the "bottom" just a figment of our imaginations? Can we lay new ground wherever we choose?

Ask Alice

None of my friends growing up were impressed with Disney's…

Writers get laid

Writers get laid -- or they would if they tried -- because people -- especially women -- are impressed by the phrase, "I'm a writer." It's romantic.

Introducing yourself as a writer insinuates substance and depth of character; people like that. They don't know why, except that one-dimensional characters on T.V. sitcoms and big-screen romantic comedies prattle on and on about the whole package -- a good looking, funny, intelligent single with rock-solid values and money.

People admire the skill and dedication it takes to be a novelist or a journalist or a screen writer  -- "I always wanted to be a writer," they tell you with stars in their eyes.

Whether they know it's a myth or not they imagine us in rich, thrilling lives with sports cars and beach houses and Louboutin shoes like Carrie Bradshaw. So the woman at the grocery store doesn't feel bad when she puts back the US Weekly she read cover to cover before she checks out.

Or downloading unauth…

The mirror

Ashlyn discovered the funny mirror at the park today. I could tell you all a long, silly story about our adventure -- the chasing after crows, the falling (me not Ashlyn), the rc plane crash, the dog poop and the climb to the tippy-top-top of the play structure -- but the pictures in this case are funnier.