I try to sleep with the tellie off, but this panicky "I'm going to die" mantra goes off in my head, and I hear my heartbeat in my face, and I leap out of bed and scramble for the light switch in order to find the remote.
Then I dream about Snuggies with zippers, Proactiv acne treatment, Nuwave ovens and poker tournaments.
Fact: I stole my daughter's princess night light.
Fact: I strategize escape routes before I go to the bathroom at night, because who knows what'll happen while I'm sitting on the toilet?
Rationalization: I feel safer when Lily sleeps with me -- I'd sleep with Jerod, but he snores too loud, and that's scary too, but mostly the noise keeps me up, and that's worse than being scared.