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Put down your weapons

Buck Henry and his posse of toothless, pickup-driving hillbillies are down at the gun range again blowing sh*t up and polluting my writing space with their god dammed racket.

I'm one POP away from marching over there and taking them down with my husband's pink remote control airplane or maybe his potato gun. 

It's 8:00 at night. I think it's quite reasonable to expect all gunfire will cease by the time some boring people go to bed. 

I'm trying to concentrate here, but my train is interrupted every half second by explosions and echoes of explosions and the faint clang -- they're a mile away -- of Henry's moonshine jugs being tossed in the back of some buttworm's rusty hunting vehicle.

What if I started a commune next door to the gun range?



http://suminhorto.wordpress.com

What if I blasted sitar music and tantric chanting on really BIG -- for lack of any audio words -- speakers?

I know a guy who sells  patuli-scented tiki torches and sandalwood peace arches.

Imagine: free-range chickens in bullet-proof vests -- obviously -- and a token furry naturist couple.

I'll find me some yurts, a dozen-or-so barefoot beatniks, a ton of Kevlar and some tambourines, and we'll see how the trigger happies like it when their space is interrupted.

My husband says I'm unreasonable, but I don't think so. The gun guys can shoot round the clock if they want to -- I just think out of common courtesy they should use silencers after 7 p.m.

Comments

  1. Hahahaha. I just stopped over from IWSG, and although it's not your Wednesday post, I just couldn't help commenting. I feel the exact same way!!!! For me it's bubbas hunting geese in the field right across the road from my house. The first day they were almost IN my yard and shooting up and over my house. Nothing kills my mood faster than an up close view of slaughter.

    Add to that that I am a full time working mom, writer, and about a million other things. I only rarely get the chance to sleep past 6a.m. You eff-tards waking me up at 7am on Saturday AND Sunday AND Monday (when we had a holiday) is just too much.

    I also don't want to explain what's going on to my 3 year old.

    Wow. Thanks for letting me rant. I lost a whole weekend of writing to them, as every barrage of gunfire made my blood pressure rise a few points. I realize I should be able to control my reaction- but I lost that battle. I decided I should vacuum my car while blasting my radio, since I was up anyway. I like your commune idea better, though.

    Hope you get some peace!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You could live next door to a race track and listen to sprint cars every friday and saturday night up to and sometimes past 11:00. These are probably the same people that go to the gun ranges.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Or even worse, an international airport as i do.

    24/7 planes planes and more fucking planes...

    ReplyDelete

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