Insecure writer's support group

Some people go on vacation to vegetate -- to chill the hell out. I go on vacation to write, but it usually happens that other things get in the way like VACATION and children and "knock, knock -- housekeeping."

This time was different. I went to Hawaii for a week with my dad -- no kids, no husband -- just me, dad, my computer and a couple of spiral notebooks.

It was hard at first to get my bearings. Until a week ago it had been something like 41,200 minutes since my last writing moment, one of those heaven-sent minutes in which I happen to be sitting at my computer, or I have a pen and something to scribble on -- my skin for instance, because I haven't carried a notepad around since I stopped reporting the news (insert frowny face here), and even then I rarely had a notepad when I needed one -- I took notes on napkins and empty cigarette boxes.

ENOUGH rambling -- I havent't written much since I got promoted to leader of  I think I signed a contract that prohibits me from telling you exactly.

But I got promoted, and I make more money, and while that's mass rad, super awesome, WOW, fabulous -- it consumes ALL the time. I do important things now between shooting my coworkers -- and being shot by my coworkers -- with rubber bands, Nerf darts and little balls of paper and tin foil. I spent all of last month, breaking computers. It wasn't Premeditated -- just a series of freak slayings, which is probably what every serial killer who's been arrested told the cops in interrogation "I didn't mean to kidnap and strangle them; it was an accident."

I attend lots of meetings about things that ONE, make no sense to me, and TWO, have nothing to do with me. I spill at least one cup of coffee a day. I get yelled at and praised and yelled at again in the same sentence. And all I write lately are meeting notes and bitchy emails to my coworkers about job performance and so forth.

It's dark when I board the bus in the morning. It's dark when I board the bus at night -- I get home, hug my kids, eat whatever is handy (even Drano if we had some), and before I sit down it's time for bed.

I was READY for a week-long writing fest -- it could have been in Burien, WA., so long as there was someplace to sit undisturbed for hours at a time. Lucky for me that place was a beach on the Island of Kauai.

I spent most of the first and second days fretting about things at work, checking emails, chatting online with coworkers until they begged me to leave them alone and start my vacation.

I eventually wrote myself over the starting hump and went through two spiral notebooks in one day.

My first milestone -- I made it past the 150 mark on my book. I could be as far 200, but I haven't typed them up yet, which brings us to my second milestone. I discovered I'm much more productive with a pen a paper than I am with a keyboard and a backspace button, so the next time one of you non-writer folks suggests a computer instead of my reliable spiral notebook -- watch out for my foot in your ass.

My third and favorite milestone: I nearly completed a sex scene. It's sad really -- and funny -- my character almost got laid, but due to my discomfort with intimacy he got blue balls instead. (I'll find myself a therapist for that one.)

So yeah, it was a good writing week, and now that I've discovered how much easier it is to write with a pen. I may have a couple more good writing weeks on the mainland.

Mahalo!

* The Insecure Writer's Support Group: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!