Jerod: No answer -- he's checking his Facebook.
Lily: "Daddy?"
Jerod: "WHAT?"
Lily: "I said, why do you have two holes in your ear?"
Jerod: "Because I got shot with a bb gun."
Lily (mouth open wide): "You got shot?"
Me: "Yes, Daddy got shot in the head. Someone tried to kill him."
Lily (mouth open wider): "Who did it?"
Me: "Uncle Paul shot daddy."
Lily: "Daddy? Your own brother shot you?"
Jerod: No answer -- still on Facebook.
Lily: "Why did he do it?"
Me: "Your daddy tried to eat him."
Lily (hands over face, head bowed in shame): "Don't eat people, Daddy. They aren't food."
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I showed you mine -- it's your turn now.