Magic Band-Aids

In case of an emergency, the average Joe carries a Swiss Army Knife, a first-aid kit, an endless supply of hand sanitizer ... I'm partial to safety pins and baking soda.

My mother's go-to Band-Aid is of the less-typical variety. It's a virtual encyclopedia of Seinfeld tucked discretely in her memory bank -- always handy should a friend or family member or complete stranger fall victim to any number of life's little mishaps.

Mom's remedy for everything from scraped knees to grape-juice stains begins like so: "Did you ever see that episode of Seinfeld ..."

"She's a real sidler!"

I was taking a cup of juice to Ashlyn the other morning, and Lily -- in a hurry to get to the sofa -- made a shortcut between my legs. It wouldn't have been a problem had she scurried on through, but she stopped  right in front of me.

My pinkie toe caught the heal of her boot, and -- snap-crackle-pop -- I was flat on the floor gritting my teeth; reminding Angry Me that Lily is a sweet, adorable 6-year-old who didn't break my toe on purpose.

"She's a sidler," Mom informed me. "Remember the episode of Seinfeld where Elaine has the annoying coworker who sneaks up on her and makes her spill her coffee and takes the credit for her work?"

I pondered briefly and shook my head, "no."

"Elaine gave him a half-empty box of Tic-Tacs so he couldn't sneak up on her," Mom continued. "You could do that with Lily -- make her keep them in her pocket."